i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
