Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm always down for nudity.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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