Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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