can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
