I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
