My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The adults are the big ones right?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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