I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
