I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
