Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
