How'd it feel making her break her religion?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
