My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Randomize
