And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
