Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
