ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
