I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
