You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
