i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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