Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
