So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
where does the pee come out of this thing
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
