Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
