We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize