And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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