My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
it's like iHOP with fire
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
