So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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