I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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