Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
