I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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