You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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