WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hippo gnu deer
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
