I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you would pick up someone in the library
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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