the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
