She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
