I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
