My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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