Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize