I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
