It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
