Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
