i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
