I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
