Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
