I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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