he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
