Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
worst night to have a conscience
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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