we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
we're so committed to being not committed
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
