Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
