Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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