I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I would ride that face into the sunset
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
