That's intense
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
