dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
