If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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