Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
